Patterns

among the starsThe way I drink my tea – at the end always a little bit left, transparent liquid staying at the bottom of the cup as if to remember or as if not wanting to finish the pleasant moment that goes with drinking a cup of tea.
My mum has always been slightly agitated and used to ask me: Why do you always need to leave a little bit, why don´t you finish it? Does everything need to be explained, or has everything its sense?
However, I tried to explain: There was always more sugar not diluted at the bottom, or, it was already too cold to drink it.
I have not been using sugar for my tea for couple of years now, but there is still this left-over. It makes me nervous especially when drinking from plastic cups which need to be disposed afterwards. I am always in front of dilemna – to throw it away as it is or finish the unliked final sip? I end up by choosing the first option.

The way I wear my parfume in the morning – behind the left ear, behind the right ear, on the neck, on the left wrist and then the right wrist rubs the left wrist.

The way I step out of the door in the morning, deep breath to smell the air, then the feeling according to weather or time period. I smile when the weather is pleasant, a big smile appears when the sun shines. I sigh when it rains and I hop in the car and put the radio on.

The way I take eventual compliments:
Kind one: “You have a nice skirt. Ah, that´s actually an old one…” (and thinking – gosh why did I tell it?)
Lovely one: “You look great. Ah, that is just a good make-up…” (damn)
Super cool: “You look pretty today.” Laughing and saying – are you kidding? (what the heck, say thank you)

In a way all sorts of patterns make us, their repetitive rythm forms certain security. Simple patterns belong to our daily life, we cannot imagine doing things differently or act in different ways. They show us that more complex patterns might be difficult to change. And in fact, if not bothering us, not preventing us from feeling satisfied and happy why to change them?

But what if breaking one of our patterns changes the whole course of our life?

06/01/2014

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