Today I went to a decoration shop to buy a little agenda for my daughter. One of my projects on how to motivate six and eight year old siblings to play nicely together, tidy up a little bit and to solve problems in a decent way is to collect stickers in this agenda. Maybe adults could also have such agendas to motivate themselves. To do shopping or to tidy up a little bit, to be nice to each other, to solve problems in a decent way and why not for complimenting each other or love-making. That would probably show them where their relationship is right now.
I started to go through little things like note holders, magical snow globes with a princess inside, magnets with quotes that could make someone feel special or happy, candles with names and their meanings, small pocket lamps. I came slowly to the part of the shop that was obviously dedicated to Valentine´s day. All hearts in all possible colours and with different purpose were neatly arranged on the shelves. Photograph holder, a vase, a candle holder, cushion, decoration to be put on the door or hang on the window, stickers, postcards and even box of chocolates. Yes, box of real chocolates in a decoration shop. Who knows, in the frenzy of joy or in urge to express deep feelings or devotion you might want to buy anything in the shape of a heart. You might even feel obliged to buy something because that is what you do when your calendar shows an important day.
It is impossible to miss Valentine´s day, it is unimaginable to forget about it and yet you might. Your loved one might as well. And you will meditate long hours on how could I or how could he/she. You will never find a good reason or good excuse. In fact already finding an excuse sounds like an insult.
In each of us there is a natural longing to receive something. Not so much the flowers, the box of chocolates or your dream jewelery. It is about the intention. It is about the thought. It is about the time you spent thinking what would make your loved one smile. But Valentine’ s Day is also about giving. About being happy to make your loved one’s eyes sparkle. So what do you do if the one you love forgot or did not come up with something up to your expectations? If you are spending your time with a totally reckless and egoistic person it may encourage you to evaluate the relationship. But if you are with someone you truly love you might try to focus on the giving part. Act like if it was an ordinary day and you decided to buy something for your sweetheart. Just like that. You went to a decoration shop to buy a birthday bag but saw something cute that reminded you of them. And then you simply offer it.
In the end we are all children who can get so happy when given a tiny thing they were not expecting to get. It makes our day. It makes us soft and thankful. It does not oblige us to give in return because the reward for the giver is the smile, the thank you, the kiss and much more.
You can become or make somebody your Valentine any day of the year. It takes out the pressure to become Valentine on the command. The day D you feel more spontaneous. If you forget because your day was horrendous it will not hurt your partner that much. However, plan B in case of resentment from the other party must be planned well ahead. Especially when the forgotten party is a woman.