Happy New Year and what comes before it can be happy.

HOPE

HOPE

When it comes to new year´s resolution we can create a list of things we want to achieve or wishes we hope to come true rather quickly. For some of us who have it all it might be paradoxically a long and exhausting list for those who lack a good health or are lonely it would be probably only one thing they wish for.

I thought that before I do mine ( if I ever do one) I would look back and write down what 2015 brought to me. I am gratefull that I have a home where I feel loved and secure. I met new wonderful people. My job became more interesting and once again I have great colleagues. I manage pain better, much better than a year ago. I study what enriches me and I hope once to be good at. Moreover I learned the following:

  • that whether you can bite off a piece of an apple or to have to cut it to pieces first does not make any difference
  • that the name and degree of an illness does not say anything about its future development nor about the amount of pain to be endured
  • that most of the people have good intentions
  • that we often interpret good intentions as bad ones
  • that some people are simply mean, yes simply mean
  • that you can forgive awful lot but you can also not to forgive at all and it is fine
  • that it is difficult to break some family patterns but not impossible
  • that cats like people have different personalities but unlike people they perform equally well in their independence, curiosity, ignorance and cuddling
  • that even though I do not believe in collagen or hyaluronic acid miracles I still happen to buy from time to time creams that tell me I will look better just in 3 weeks time
  • that if I happen to look good it is thank to the good mood and laughing
  • that cellulite is visible to the public eye max. 4 weeks a year, swimming pool in winter included – so what…
  • that ageing mums love to tell you details from their favourite series and that it is an excellent opportunity to practice “the art of listening”
  • that for loving one is enough but for loving relationship 2 are necessary
  • that it is possible to love unconditionally but hard work is presumed. That it is not a permanent state you dwell in once you are capable loving uncoditionally.
  • that not taking things personally does not happen from one day to another but it happens faster than you expect once you start practicing
  • that walking across the Slovak village can be a life threatening experience due to lack of pavements and high number of fast driving cars
  • that you can be called a good Christian or bad Christian by different people and none of it is “true” because the “truth” lies within yourself
  • that big cars with camera device are awesome but small Ford Fiesta parks everywhere with simple glimpse in rearview mirrors
  • that most of the people are aware of their physical problems but few of them pay attention to their meaning
  • that true friends give you very few advice but listen to you a lot. They are present when you need them but they know when to “disappear” to let you be with yourself or with people you love.
  • that there might be times when you need space and time to be alone and it does not mean you do not care about your loved ones
  • that the majority of women want to be respected, desired, encouraged in fulfilling their dreams and helped with kids and household. Last but not least to cuddle a lot not necessarily with happy ending.
  • that the majority of men want to be appreciated for what they achieved, respected, encouraged in fulfilling their dreams, not to be told what they did not do in the household. Last but not least to have enough sex (to be checked whether it is enough on regular basis).
  • that all women do not want to be criticized
  • that all men do not want to be criticized
  • that no matter how much you love your partner and your son you will always “hate” them for leaving socks and company on the floor
  • that no matter how much you love your daughter you will  always “hate” her for being manipulative because her behaviour reminds you of yours
  • that sometimes life just sucks. Yes, sometimes.
  • that letting the thoughts pass as if you were turning the pages of a magazine without reading it is an excellent exercise for staying present without any judgements
  • that even though you reveal your 7-year old that Santa does not exist you do not take away Magic from them

…probably even more but  you would not read long texts, that are maybe not even written in your mother tongue. What I wanted to say is that for all of this I am gratefull and when I read it through I wish for myself another year of observation and learning. To be able to act or not to act, to progress or stay where I am, to be near or far away, to express myself or to be silent, to observe but not absorb and to love better. Happy beginnings, happy endings, happy years are illusions. What is real is how we lived every single day, fully with compassion and joy and most of all that we used well the chance that was given to us in the first place – to LIVE.

 

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